ally smetana

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:45:56 GMT

let's just say i ate way too much over thanksgiving break. lately i have been absorbed by Love Green, Arya, and ever so wonderful SCHOOL. i don't have time to work out anymore either.
THOUGH i did get a new job this past month at Food Lion. I work as a cashier and work long shifts. its better then pizza hut.

i don't write as much as i use to, i usually just talk to arya about my life. its nice to always have someone to relate to and at the same time love with all my heart. there is no one else i ever really want to hang out with. no one else interest me. yes, he annoys me a lot but in a weird lovely way i love it. makes me laugh so much.

it is simple to be with him :)

MY life right now.

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 02:10:50 GMT

Lately I have:

been to asheville
applied for scholarships
paying to go to D.C w/ newspaper
saving up for chicago this month
lost friends
got beatles rock band
NOT cleaned my room
gotten Love Green active
started a Recycling Award at our school
got a new boss at work
NOT gotten a new job :(
bought new rings
wrote a kick ass paper
made good grades...so far

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 02:30:17 GMT

ima happy girl.

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:36:07 GMT

i'm so fucking pissed that i cannot even make a DECENT s.a.t score.
fkjldsjklsdfakl!

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 16:25:40 GMT

so far this summer has included: working, working out, and watching movies. This is what I call a vacation.

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 01:48:47 GMT

i am a senior in high school now.

Sun, 31 May 2009 20:03:59 GMT

last night i had a dream that i beat Jordan and James up. We were in some school, and i saw James Hile and I was walking away from him and he was like Nice Ass! and i was like fuck you! and he kept following me, so i start running saying, i'm not going to fall for your game again! and shit like that. and then i yelled at him, about how he hurt me and how he was such a dipshit to me and how i didn't desereve it. i called him lots of names. i punched him a lot, and he punched me. then he fell and i walked off. and he apologized. then i saw jordan, and i basically did the same thing. i was so mad. i beat her up too. i told her all the things she did bad to me, and i beat her up so bad. then she hugged me, crying. she was crying her heart out, and i couldn't cry. i tried but i coudln't becuase i was so angry. then she saw people and walked off and acted like nothing happen.

then their was this part where at 11 or so o clock at night i was like, mom i'm hungry, take me out to eat! and so she did. at la fogota but the thing was...la fogotoa changes after 10 clock so it was this weird seduction type place. emerson and sandra were their on a date? and for some reason my mom felt REAL uncomfortable and was like cmon alison, were leaving! i was SO pissed, i waslike but MOM I'M HUNGRY. and i was in a bad mood the whole entire dream. and i remember i lostmy shoes on this hill and a credit card under all the snow, or the dirt i can't remember but my mom told me it meant nothing, it was jsut a coupon. but i kept it anyway. and i remember my mom was going out the door and i saw my shoes aqt the top of the hill and ran up their to go get them, and she was SO mad.

that's all i remember. fucked up dream.

Thu, 28 May 2009 04:04:05 GMT

is it completely terrible when you realize you have barley any of the same friends you use to have in freshman year?

Thu, 21 May 2009 00:00:07 GMT

today i realized that 50 percent of my friends are leaving this year and i'm going to be a senior this year and this is just one chapter in my life and the friends i have now will not last, regardless. i will move on and find other friends and will nto be in my security blanket for much longer, my life has just begun, and i have just realized it.

Tue, 05 May 2009 21:28:48 GMT

it's surreal when you realize that what someone is doing to you, and how it is causing you a bit of agony and stress and then realize you have/are causing the same onto another. if anything, it puts everything in perspective and you see what they see in you and what you see in the 'victim'.

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 03:06:17 GMT

Today in Sociology I fell COMPLETELY on my ass with one of those slidy chairs. It was horrid.
Anyways! I finished the Bell Jar today and it was wonderrrrrrrrrrful! I love that book, a lot. Slyvia Plath! Too bad she committied suicide, haha. In language arts today, I felt very flattered because Mrs. Pellerin pointed me out as doing really well at analyzing stories and such becuase of her mutal love of doing so. It made me feel good. Then after school I spent some time with Sarah Bishop doing social studies project, and it was lots of fun. I REALLY want to hang out with her outside of school one day. We made a plan to do it.
Then I went down to the mall and met him with the beatiful Kaity Hallman and we exchanged greetings and put in applications for Starbucks. Arya came abruptly and then!!! all of a sudden I saw Erika, Johnaca and Katie. So! Ofcourse i yell for them, we exchange greetings once again.
They left and all three of us hung out for a while, and then after Arya left I hung out with Kaity for a while and looked at shoes for prommmmm. It was a lot of fun. I enjoy her company.
We made plans for Tuesday at Barnes & Noble. I cannot wait. Haha.

I got yet another new book today called The Time Traveler's Wife, quite good so far. Only 44 pages through it though.

OH!! Kaity made me a cd, and I love the Kings Of Leon song " Sex On Fire" haha, i had listened to before and hadn't like it. But now I do. Weird.
ohhhhhhh and we watched this movie called spellbound in sat verbal and it was crazzzzzzy how these kids prepare for these test, its like, do you have a life? serioulsy! Perhaps they are competive. It was cute though. An indian girl one. I was rooting for Ashley though.

Unfortantly I have a Chemistry test tommorow that I have not looked at all. Perhaps i should do it. yes i will.
Goodnight!
Love

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 02:04:15 GMT

i just LOVE bruce springsteen

i don't think i ever showed pictures from cartel..well heres the best one i took.

and here are picturessssssssss from my birthday becasue i jsut figured out how to use it.

and tehn some random that i like.

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 06:05:11 GMT

things always sound a lot more profound in my head, but when i put the pencil on the paper, the hands on the keyboard, or the words hit the tongue, it really just sounds like another cliche voice over. but my thoughts have taken over more space in my brain within the last week rather then work, homework, ritual, tomorrow, and so on.i think it's sad that my brain is filled with it and unfortunately, i and so many others love the clutter in my brain because it takes away the reality that I'd rather face on a more appropriate time (almost never). though when the time comes and my head hits the pillow i must approach the thoughts i push away with maturity and ease.

Sure, ignorance is a friend a mine, though not of my brain. it keeps you at a easier level then anything else. It doesn't hurt you, it protects you as fucked up as that sounds. Stupidity keeps you safe, doubts make you smart and make you see things for what they are, and it puts an answer to why smart people always seem to be the one with high suicide rates, and are alcoholics. They live in a fantasy, and don't see anything in people but their faces, not their eyes or movements. They don't hear their words, fuck! they are waiting to speak, if anything! I think the hardest thing I have ever had to accept is that fantasy is not real. Movies are not real.Magazines are not real.Most pictures are not real. Though, of course I know this on the surface,and i do know that it is just a form of entertainment, but i trap these illusions in my head that when i'm feeling lonesome and i think the boy i love will stand outside my window, or sing me a song, or walk on waters! I have illusions that when friendships break they are like a climax of a movie, and within 20 minutes a resolution will be present. Or even that the underdog always finds the top, and the bad guy always looses.

People do not change.People do leave you. People do lie.People do break promises. No one is going to stand outside for you in the fucking rain! God fuckin' dammit!

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:16:21 GMT

i have had this livejournal accoutn for like 2 years.

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 21:55:38 GMT

wonderwall

Writer's Block: Peevish

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 02:15:41 GMT

Too many LJers to list have submitted this question—what is your biggest pet peeve?

View 500 Answers

My biggest pet peeve is baby talk, bad acting, fake apologies, checkered wrist bands, and annoying high voices like the lead singer in Chiodos.

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 15:14:49 GMT

When's the last time you saw the person who absolutely takes your breath away?
august

Are you waiting for something?
no

Last Myspace message you received?
i don't have a myspace

Does anyone hate you?
yeah..

Where are your siblings?
aruond

Are you happy with life?
might as well be!!!

When's the next time you'll see your closest friend?

What were you doing this morning at 7am?
sleeping..

What are you listening to?
nothing

What do you need to be doing right now?
nothing.

What are you wearing?
shorts tshirt

Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment?
no

Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
yeah

Does anyone know your password beside you?
my dad

Last reason you smiled?
witty

When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
too longggg

Could you go a day without eating?
i mean if i tried

Are you close with your mom?
yeah

Is there somebody in your life that you could not survive without?
mom and dad

Relationship or Hook-Up?
relationship

What Is your favorite smell?
a lot

Do you have any relatives in the military currently?
nope

What's your favorite brand of gum?
spearmint

Do you think people have any misconceptions about you?
yes....

When's the last time you cried?
i can't even rememmber

Do you want to fix things with anybody?
i don't even care anymore

When was the last time you saw the third person on your top?
i don't have a myspace

Who is the last guy you talked to?
arya

Anything you want to tell someone?
i don't care

Who was the last person to give you a hug?
dad?

Did you get a full eight hours of sleep last night?
yes

Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
no

What time did you get up today?
930

When was the last time you talked to your number 2?
no myspace

Are you mean?
kind of

What's something you REALLY want right now, be honest?
food! and NOT being broke

Where's your phone?
bed

Who are the last people you hung out with?
arya

Where do you want to go?
fuckin mickey ds

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
uh i mean why not

Do you have a crush?
no

Do you know anyone who likes you right now?
nope

Is it hard for you to let go of people?
depends haha

Why do you like the person you like now?
n/a

What did you do last night?
work waffle house and arya came over for a bit

Do you dislike anyone right now?
i mean sure

Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now?
always

Do you miss the way things used to be?
i dno't care

The person you have feelings for shows up at your house, what do you do?
i have no idea.

Are you currently frustrated with a girl/boy?
no

Most memorable thing that happened to you last summer?
id on't know

Have you ever cried over someone of the opposite sex?
yes...

Do people tend to walk all over you?
no alot

Are you okay with your boyfriend/girlfriend being friends with an ex?
n/a

What's wrong with you right now?
hungry

Is it okay to kiss people when you're single?
i don't care at all.

hardest part

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 16:30:45 GMT

. Put your MP3 player on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3.
YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

***

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
more then a feeling-boston

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
semi-charmed life- third eye blind

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
this is your life- the killers

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
checkmarks- the academy is

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
life in technicolor- coldplay

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
carrer day- format

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
time stands still- all american rejects

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS?
anna molly- incubus

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
sense and sensibility- sequoyah prep school

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S STORY?
o valencia!- the decemberists

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
waiting- green day

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
give and take- forever teh sickest kids

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
pas de cheval- panic at teh disco

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
the lonesome river- bob dylan

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
42- coldplay

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
dirty little secret- all american rejects

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
shelter from the storm- bob dylan at budokan

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

hear you me- jimmy eat world

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
thats waht you get- paramore

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
it's all over now baby blue- bob dylan

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
the hardest part- coldplay

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 23:19:37 GMT

i hate being sober.

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 04:41:59 GMT

i have been watching way too much back to the future and i think ive watched say anything 3 or 4 times in the past 2 days and i'm about to put it back in. that movie makes me depressed but its a fuckin' guilty pleasure.
i just finished watching love atcually for the first time i didn't really like it, too many stories and none of them devloped enough like i wish they would of.

arya got me the killers record which is awesome, katie got me beatles puzzle. i got really sick yesterday and was throwing up for hours :(
i'm tired.

i went bowling with my work and it was fun but im so different from everyone i work with its...crazy. i wish i could come up with a better word for that.

happiness is only real when shared- into the wild.

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 03:49:11 GMT

today i was listening to I'll Melt With You by Modern English and I was singing along and I realized how pretty these lyrics were

Moving forward using all my breath
Making love to you was never second best
I saw the world thrashing all around your face
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace

I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you

he sings it so pretty, and so relaxed liek the feeling is almost..natural. but i also realized its the first time in a long time i have listened to a song like tihs without thinking about a certain 'someone' i just listened to it and enjoyed how beatiful the song was. i wasn't trying to relate to it, i wasn't trying to become attached to it in anyway i jsut enjoyed its company.

i feel good.

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 16:13:43 GMT

Your Existing Situation

Works well in cooperation with others. Needs a personal life of mutual understanding and freedom from discord.

Your Stress Sources

Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense, leaving her rather isolated in her attachments.

Feels that she cannot do much about her existing problems and difficulties and that she must make the best of things as they are. Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.

Feels that she is receiving less than her share and that there is no one on whom she can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions and a certain egocentricity make her quick to take offense, but she realizes that she has to make the best of things as they are.

Willing to become emotionally involved and able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity, but tries to avoid conflict.

Your Desired Objective

Her need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes her restless and she is driven by her desires and hopes. May try to spread her activities over too wide a field.

Your Actual Problem

Feels restricted and prevented from progressing; seeking a solution which will remove these limitations.

Your Actual Problem #2

The fear that she may be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her into a relentless search for satisfaction in the pursuit of illusory or meaningless activities.

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:33:29 GMT

1.friday night i got drunk with jonahcha erika and katie carlisle and it was nice but i drunk dialed everybody even people that i shouldn't have who just hung up on me and i always feel like a dipshit. i hate myself sometimes.

2. yesterday i went to the mall to the over crowded mall and then we went to target and i spoiled myself with a puzzle and love atcually. then barnes and noble and spoiled myself some more with two magazines and a jones.

3. becuase of the lack of sleep and lack of R.E.M i am sleep deprieved even now that its sunday i have exams tommorow and im fuckedddddddi ve been working on my psyhc study guide fot he past half hour and its a bit draining. i shouldn't have slept in class half of the semester. ahhhhhhhhhhhhahaha

4. i have been listneing to the killers constantly latley except for right now littlerely james blunt is in my cd player now. but the new album for the killers is to die for and is so perfect. i suggest it. Day And Age is the album name.

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 10:07:30 GMT

i'm unhappy.

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 01:04:08 GMT

i need to party....bad